titles for how-to essays i could but won't write

how to live the good agnostic/hindu/jain/progressive-southasian life while making oneself *and* one's parents happy (the true duty of every south asian who was once the child of south asian parents)

how to live the utterly disorganized, yet charmingly purposeful life. How this is a lie and does not exist -- instead, how such a life leads to increased chaos in the universe-- at least one's own universe. As well as its immediate surroundings.

how to obtain the most perfectly-shaded outrageous pale orange purse at an upscale shoe-store on one's last day in Delhi, while dashing around on last minute errands before one heads to Indira Gandhi International Airport

how to agonize for days, as to whether one will or will not, or should, or should not, take up an "youcan't get a better deal than this" apartment, then turn it down in favor of living in ones co-op of eight folks, and then wonder if one made the right decision

how to (gently) snub that one uncle/aunty (they come in a pair) who, since they didn't have kids, give didactic advice on how to run one's life, and then,
how to feel guilty for not having shown the proper enthusiasm for - or respect for- that particular pair of uncle/aunti, and yet, how to simultaneously feel that one simply cannot bear yet another non-conversation with them.

how to sigh and roll one's eyes, extremely slightly and subtlely, (just so), to properly exasperate one's parent while he/she is in mid-soliloquy about his/her _____________________ (fill in the blank here---->for example, "his/her collection of Jain audiotape lectures purchased in 1991 and kept in pristine, dust-free condition for the edification of future generations"

how to spend hundreds of dollars to fly to the east coast in April, and yet never take a walk in the park with the blooming deep yellow forsythia that one hasn't seen in 10 years

feel like singing...

that song from my childhood...

i've been workin' on the railroad, all the live-long day...

ah, yes. the so-called non-profit world revolves around numbers just as much as the corporate, without the remuneration.

of course, to be less cynical, it also does so without the mass destruction.

but right now, remuneration would be Great.

no, i Don't have a Bad Attitude!
:)

what else?
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(these are thinking dashes, akin to the thinking dots in a previous post)--------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- (now here come the dots).................................................................................................(i find the dots more conducive to thinking).........................................................................................................................

oh well. there was something to say, but now i'm pretty well exhausted. it seems all i do lately is sleep, work, eat, sleep work eat, work, sleep, eat... except for the weekends where i do get some respite. but it's respite filled with guilt about the stuff i'm NOT doing, either for work or for mySELF.

money may make the world go round, but I'm getting seasick.

rolfed

i got rolfed yesterday. (sunday)

muscles in forearms, sides and biceps all hurt.

hmmm.....

hope this works.

bleary-eyed

and tired.

sigh.

work never ends

.....................................................................


what to do

lipstick art

... continuing on the path to reclaim lost creative impulses, I decided to combine this with the idea of getting rid of old makeup.

Can you believe, i had a tube of lipstick which, I believe, I purchased in 1996. Yikes.

i decided to see how well it would do as a drawing instrument. and it was Fun to draw/paint/fingerpaint with it... bit messy too, as you might expect.

i still have some lipstick that i can't get out from under my fingernails. :+)

it's a slow journey, reclaiming your self.

and, at times, a silly one.

sunday anxieties and fun

today, went to cafe trieste to have coffee with Nisha... and to relieve my anxieties about tomorrow's event. despite the fact that i have done fine moderating several student panels at Mills events, somehow i'm anxious about tomorrow's.

now i'm at work, ostensibly to get some work done to alleviate tomorrow's anxiety level, but of course, am blogging INSTEAD. :)

had a good long conversation with Ganesh today about their (Smitha and Ganesh's) upcoming Wedding in Phoenix! and also, about the documentary project that he and I have discussed off and on, about Desis using online dating services to meet their partners... it's moving forward, so that's exciting... something creative to focus on, rather than all the general anxiety producing stuff!!!