Thursday, January 27, 2005

(no title can encompass Sarah Jones)

is what's on the stage--- a long banner hung in the air, across the stage. when i enter the theatre, my first visit to the berkeley rep, headed for the bathroom, there is bhangra music playing. at the berkeley rep. hmm. my head turns towards the auditorium as my feet carry me to the restroom -- i had caught sight of the sign, 'there will be no intermission' and i just know that i need to go now, but part of me wants to enter the theatre already. mild curiosity stirs. why bhangra? there must be a multi-cultural element, maybe? but the name, sarah jones... hmm. let's see.

as i sit, i'm aware that my body, after a 9 hour work day, is uncomfortable. I have my period. wish i'd had time to go home and shower before this show. i find myself wondering if I'll be able to get comfortable, and, if I'm not, will I be distracted, will I want to go home, will my mind wander and will I wish I hadn't decided to go by myself on a thursday evening to go see this show, about which i have read nothing, as I wanted to come to this with no preconceived notions.

the show starts, before i quite realize. and i'm transfixed, entranced. taken by the actors, it seems, although there is only one woman, Sarah, performing. i see before me so many. from Muhammed Ali (not the one you're thinking of) to Mrs. Levine who reminds me so, so much of the secretary at my dad's office in manhattan, to Juan Jose, who tells of a true Mexican love story that is pure romance and pure tragedy, and yet he tells it, and I find myself shaking myself, trying to see the woman behind all these characters, and then i give in, give in to the reality that while she plays these people, she is Pakistani, Palestinian, Russian, Vietnamese, Jamaican, Haitian, Chinese, even Australian for crying out loud.

I don't want to tell you too much. I probably already have. because I want you to go see it.

i cried when i left the theatre. not because it made me sad.

but because it was Over.

if you want to read a more in depth review and don't mind
knowing some more details before seeing the show, go to

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

somebody keeps stealing my letters...

this is a weird site. fun for a few minutes. but people just randomly steal letters, and don't seem to collaborate on cool words or poetry... but try it, maybe you'll get more interesting folks on at the same time as you.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005


U.S. Army recruiters cause uproar at College Park High

PLEASANT HILL - U.S. Army recruiters turned College Park High School's quad into a lunchtime shooting range Wednesday, much to the consternation of teachers and students.

I see these recruiters when i'm on the road... it's scary how much access they have to the children of this country.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

about to

head out, to pick up Zachary's pizza to take to U and C's snazzy (so I've heard) new place to get together with the old "gang"... (actually i've got so many diff old gangs...) this one consists of minoo, ulka, conor, sandip, radhika, mallika, whom i haven't seen in forever... it'll be nice to catch up with the other side of the bay folks... whom i see less now than when i was in noe valley... logical, of course, though not really, considering how often i actually find myself in the city... like, for example, this past friday, when i went to el rio... which is a different post altogether, and maybe more of a private diary entry than a post...

Friday, January 21, 2005

did you see this??

Fresh panic in islands drives hundreds to mainland India


so happy...

i just had something happen that made my day, if not my wknd... i won't mention names, so as to not invade privacy.

there is a student who thought she'd have to withdraw, and who came to tell me that sad fact earlier this week. She thought she'd exhausted all her possibilities, but i encouraged her to go talk to the financial aid director, but I despaired because i knew she was just saying yes she would so as to make me feel better... so i called ***** to let him know i was worried about her, and that i'd strongly encouraged her to go see him... he at first didn't seem to think that much could be done, but then somehow came up with more aid for her. So now she came to see me, all radiant smiles, cuz she's going to stay!!! so happy i am. even though my neck still hurts. ;)

staying up too late doing nothing...

... just stayed up, an acquaintance, till now. got to get out of the grip of technology....

too tired to think let alone blog.

deep thought. was happier in india when i didn't have access to email for days at a time! hhmm... should try that. tho diff to accomplish with so much ready internet around, beckoning...

i got a phone call from an old flame today. he only calls me from airports on his way to or from some country or another... we have these very disconnected conversations. it used to bother me. but now i'm at peace with that. actually feeling quite detached from things in general. but not in a bad "time to worry about me" kind of way. just like, you know, a chilled out space. it'll be good to get more attached too... not necessarily relationship-wise, though that might be fun... but in general, with the writing the performing the being immersed in arts... and finding ways to service that don't feel claustrophobic and do-gooderish...

Thursday, January 20, 2005

pain is all relative

neck is paining me. pain in the neck. ha ha ha.
i'm a pain in the neck. i know SO many people who think so. But that's okay, cuz i know that you ( and you sure know who you are!) deal with it, as i deal with you. could i be more cryptic? ;)

anyways, (why am i saying anyways these days?) i am staying late at work, but taking a longish break. Dharma, it was nice to see your comments. It sounds like you are having a fabulous time in gujarat, just like i *knew* you would.

for those who don't know, dharma is my little, er not so little anymore (6 foot 3) brother. who is in india right now, first visit in 6 years. he loves being there, with the relatives, like i do. in fact i remember one of the best times dharma and i ever had together was a few days when we hung out together with family in Mehsana, where he is now... oh... wish i were there right now.

oh. okay. going to get two solid hours of work done. that is my goal. let us see what happens, shall we?

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

at work...

neck still tingling.. shoulder and arm in pain... but at work... got lots of work... :)
maybe should get a kaiser appt... okay, now lunch

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

neck tingling with pain

i had this once before, in india... not fun... but this time seems less bad than last... maybe because i know enough about it to NOT try to put bengay and other warming type things on it...

god. it's only the 3rd day of this blog, and it's already getting boring and mundane. :)

i think it's because, when you know, let me correct and say, when I know, that others may read these thoughts, there is a tendency to self - edit, and think... hmm... do i really want to go public with this, or with that?

yesterday i was in a bit of denial about the seriousness of the neck problem and tried to go on, life as usual, with the aid of many, many milograms of ibuprofen. maybe not such a good idea. nisha and i were supposed to go on a hike, but that got cancelled. instead, we went to la med for some good hummus etc, and then i dragged poor nisha to some of the overpriced stores on college to shop. it was pretty funny, shopping for earrings with a bent neck, and in obvious pain. the helpful waiflike girl tried to give advice (bengay, massage, warm bath) that, had i followed, i would be screaming in pain right now. what was funny to both nisha and me was that the girl was indian. actually, let me try to explain. that wasn't the funny part, obviously. what was funny was this girl did not at all give the appearance of being indian. she was very trendily, hip-ly dressed, with a punky, pixie cut, and there was nothing in her persona indicating the usual "hmm is she indian?" flag... but then we were talking about earrings, and then it came out. she mentioned going shopping at indian stores for jewelry and needing to buy earrings for little girls cuz the indian jewelry for adults was so hugely overpowering... that's when i asked her. turns out she's marathi. go figure

Monday, January 17, 2005

monday morning feels like a sunday

today is off, thank you, MLK.

I know I should be thinking deep thoughts about freedom, and social justice right now... but sorry, right now I'm just thinking about my neck... it's in pain. i am struggling with the lofty ideals i started the new year with, and the small things that i end up occupying myself with... like, i wanted to do service to society, whatever that means, but i haven't done anything... yesterday i had a fun day. went to English tea (replete with crumpets, creamcheese and mandarin sandwiches, and lemon curd) with a friend, then went to dinner with a friend, and talked talked talked. yes, all well and good, but what happened to my goals of service?

not that i'm into beating myself up, but getting a bit cynical about these urges to do good... do these urges just exist to make me feel better that i'm at least thinking about doing something? hmm

anyway. got to ice my neck some more.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

bus stop party

was, of course, no surprise, fun!

it was the first in a long time that we all were in the kitchen at more or less the same time, cooking, slicing, dicing, stirring, tasting, smelling, laughing, dancing, (and of course Talking) away...

the tables were set up end to end in the living room and a huge dickensian type table was created with magical candles and the indian paper stars above for soft glowing light.

there was lasagna and spanakopita and carrot soup and marinated tofu and peanut sauce and salad and sangria (made by yours truly) and brownies, and cookies and good friends and former bus stoppers and of course champagne to toast Shane and Missy, who will be getting married this fall, and which is why we are losing Shane... There were speeches, and tears, and smiles and people were happy and sad, and we did lose a brother, but gained a sister, so that turned out to be okay, especially if they keep visiting us!

i have Never danced with my roomies before, can you believe? and such a shame! cuz it was so fun... pushed most of the furniture out of the dining area. people danced their asses off to everything from Beck to salsa to Spanish pop to Prince to bhangra... i think i am now inspired to put together an indian dance music cd... :)

ah... we'll have to do it Again...

Saturday, January 15, 2005

deep thought

Expectations... i find that they tend to ruin things

g'morning world!

so... am dipping my toe in this world of... blog. (what a funny sounding word)

watched the film sideways last night, with Nisha. great film, although we argued about it afterward. but, isn't that the sign of a good film, if it makes you want to argue?

go see it. here's a link or two:

Now, i should go, the Bus Stop Co-op is having a little shindig tonight, for Shane, to send him off in style... and my room's a mess, my asthma's acting up, (cough, cough), and I need to make ~Sangria~ (yum) so got to go and DO all these things. by five the room should be shining, sangria should be on it's way, and should be ready to get the house ready with my roomies.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

pondering guilt

i'm on lunch right now, and been pondering guilt. having just returned from india, i am ashamed that Ididn't cut short the vacation part of my trip to dosomething meaningful in terms of reliefwork for thetsumami victims... but reading the following bloggives me hope, that i can give in other ways. one ofmy new year's resolutions is to think more of ways inwhich i can help, not just victims of tsunami, but ingeneral.this blog is a fascinating take on volunteer effortfor the disaster relief... Mark and Yoo-Mi are anamazing couple who live in SF and engage in all kindsof wonderful cultural activities, esply hostingconcerts in their ultra cool loft-type apartment. (they call their space SOMasala; and once, I went to aDrupad concert there-- definitely check it out whenyou get the chance; it's a one of a kind experience)but right now they're in Tamil Nadu. check out what they have to say. I guarantee you'll be inspired: